Gone Too Soon

It is so ironic reading my last blog. I never imagined that the technician wouldn't see a heartbeat and that my baby would be two weeks postmortem. This pain is so awful and I keep wondering back to a few weeks ago when I last felt the baby. There were so many things to prepare me... I guess that is why I wasn't in complete shock when I heard the bad news. I know it will get better and that everything will eventually be okay but, I just wish that I would get some closure. Unfortunately, because of the size of the baby I will have to undergo a D&C. I know it won't hurt my dead child but, the idea of desecrating any human body is so repulsive and sad. They probably won't even be able to tell if it is a boy or girl. My sweet little lamb died with its legs crossed so there is no way to know. I'm clinging to the hope that maybe they'll be able to tell. If not I hope someday to meet this child and have it say, "Here I am mom. I'm your baby you lost and now we can be together." I am so thankful for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who saw this very moment in the Garden of Gethsemane and felt my pain. I love Alma 7:12 in the Book of Mormon it states, " And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." I'm also grateful for loving friends and family that have been so supportive in all of this. Thank you for your love and prayers. I'm overwhelmed at the kindness and love shown to me. I wish I could do for all of you what you've done for me and my family.